Happy Tuesday! How have you been? Did you watch the movie you have been planning to watch? Did you try the recipe you watched on YouTube that day? Did you check out the book you got curious about in metro? Did you drink enough water today?
We don’t normally think about these little things very much. We are so focused on others that we put ourselves last. Self care is super important to your physical and mental health as well as forming a healthy relationship with yourself. Giving yourself the time to make sure you’re running 100% capacity is important.
Sometimes self care is taking care of little things like making sure you did not skip a meal, making sure you have taken shower, drank water, or gone outside for a walk. Other times it can be giving yourself a break. Going for a hike in the mountains or camping in the woods or maybe just sitting on the beach watching the waves bringing starfishes to the shore.
Self-love is an intrinsic part of our nature. Our connection with our inner being is what gets us back to believing that sense of self-love.
“Other people have a point of view about nearly everything we say and everything we do. We often rethink how we feel about ourselves based on those points of view. We are conditioned from day one to look outside of ourselves. Very rarely do we hear how important it is to redirect our attention inward, back to our natural state of inner connection.” – Jamie Learner
For me, self care means to aim for being a very good friend to myself. And I think it is fair to describe that one’s relationship with oneself is the most intimate relationship a person ever has, (keeping sexual intimacy aside of course). Because out of all the seven billion people on earth, you’re the only person about whom you have firsthand experience and direct access to your inner world. We can be close to our friends and family but in this respect we are unique to ourselves among all other people.
How can I have a good affair with myself?
This is the list of what I have come up with at this point of time. A lot of it you might have read about, hopefully some of this is a new perspective in an important way.
- Set plans & practice awareness. Set your goals, keeping it in mind that it will lead you towards a good relationship with yourself. Its important to set priorities for different time frames. Having realistic goals and setting milestones and steps for each goal are ways to stay on the right track. Keep in mind that motivation over the longer haul, becomes less exciting. Therefore blending freshness with long-term satisfaction is a good general recipe.
- Cultivate an attitude of curiosity and acceptance. Be curious about what tomorrow is going to bring. Realize that change is inevitable, and it is a good idea to accept without excess fear. However refrain from making choices or decisions which don’t seem or feel right in some ways.
- Prioritize yourself. Put yourself first. Make your bed and room look more put together. Water first, then coffee or tea. Start your day with prayer or meditation even for five minutes. Don’t neglect small comforts. Take care of basics like sleep, nutrition, activity, rest etc. Because these are the stepping stones which constitute to make a good relationship with one’s body.
- Be kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself means working towards assessing yourself without destructively criticism or blame. In addition of being around people who treat you well, its important and helpful to have affinity with people who also seek to have good relationship with themselves, because they are good models and also you can support each other in your efforts.
- Cultivate realistically optimistic behaviour. Sometimes life deals us a really bad hand, or we make a decision which we regret and hate ourselves for. At these times, its helpful to have a optimistic approach because these are the times in which we are almost vulnerable to falling back on old habits and justifying self-abuse. Maintain meaningful activity. Rather than having a static definition of success, work towards having regular activities which provide satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. Work is important, but not everyone has a job they love, but it is important to find ways to make it meaningful – this maybe about changing what you actually do, or focusing on what you actually do, or focusing on how you work and what it means in your current job. Having a sense of integrity for the quality of one’s own work can be a personal standard that lends meaning to a job which is externally not that engaging. Likewise for activities outside of work – hobbies, recreation, and volunteer activities – and meaningful personal and love relationships. Your own mind can be a source of great fascination and entertainment.
Establish good habits. Start your day in such a way that you increase the likelihood of having a day which supports your self-relationship goals. Some people find it useful to write down daily goals the night before and review them first thing in the morning. Others hold these ideas in mind and can review them mentally. Regardless within a short time after waking, remind yourself of your long-term intentions and goals, review key practices you want for that specific day, and rehearse how you want to address problematic activities in your day. Of course, I am not suggesting that everything be planned out and tightly controlled – spontaneity is critical but it’s good to keep our intentions and goals in mind so that we can behave in ways which further them.
“Fall in love with taking care of yourself : mind, body, and soul. There is only one of you. You are truly once in a lifetime” – LaTisha Cotto